The passage of time

I am learning a lot about the passage of time. It is not easy to describe, however I am learning about how long a minute and an hour can be when I am grieving intensely and I am learning how quickly the nine months passed of my mom being sick.  I am learning about how deep grief can manifest into ones life; so much so that you can lose track of who you are and what is going on around you. I am learning how deep pain can feel and how slow time moves when you are in that grief. I am learning how I did not make the best use of my time, or the valuable time I had left with my mom. I am learning about how time sometimes loops around itself. How for an entire day, I can spend my time in and out of thought, deep thought going over all the mistakes I made in the past year. Time shows me more anger than solace, more fury than peace, more anguish than love and more shock than acceptance. I hate the passage of time. It clouds memories.


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