My grandmother passed away this week. It is another layer of grief on top of all the pain of the past year. I find it difficult to articulate the amount of heartache that passes through me each and every day.
For both my grandmother and mother to be gone- it is as if my entire history has been erased- it is so jarring and unsettling. Each day I wonder if I will ever see light and then I think if I see the light does that mean I will have forgotten my mom. I often feel so lost. As if I am floating in a cloud. But in a rain cloud with one bad thing after another floating by and crashing into my life.