Hitting the wall

People in my family seem to have hit a wall. They seem- much like me- to have hit the wall of how long they can tolerate living without my mom; their sister, aunt, friend, confidante, ear to listen and shoulder to cry on.
Their lives are … Running into the ground in one way or another. It runs the gamut from mental illness gone awry, aunts having a very hard time, cousins needing to be able to talk with someone, to me just needing a hug so desperately and having someone to talk with that knows me. We all seem to have this similar sense of waving a white flag that says ‘we give in; we need Donna- our loving confidante and person who sees the good in the world and can help you walk through the dearth and still see beauty. There is a sadness lingering for so many of us. And frankly – it is not so much that we need her – we want her light in out lives. We want and desire to see the world through her loving and compassionate eyes. I want to see my children through her eyes. And for me- every day- I want to see myself through her eyes.