Mother’s Day heartache.

Being a daughter without a mother is indescribable. The pain has been too great to type. I am fuzzy with sadness. Mother’s Day is here and my mom is not. I feel all at once like I will whither away into the cloud of sorrow. The only light I see is my dear beautiful and funny children. On days like this; I have all the why questions.
Why did this happen?
Where is my mom?
Why did such a healthy person get sick?
Why is there no justice for someone who did so much good for others and was such a beacon of light?
Why don’t I have my mom with me when I now have a daughter to raise?
When will this pain in my heart and clenching in my being decrease? And honestly – do I even want it to?
When will I be able to talk about it?
The Why questions do not really end for me? I am left here; on earth with only questions. And love. And abundance of love for my mom. And love that I miss receiving.
Again. The hole left by my mothers absence is more than I can describe to others and normally more than they can fathom.
Happy Mother’s Day to my sweet and amazing and loving mother; Donna Lee Aceves. I miss you greater than the sun and deeper than sky. Every day of my life.

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